CP :

Welcome to a new column, exclusive to VGCity! I'm Chad .

SL :

And I'm Sarah.

CP :

Throughout this stint (which lasts as long as we behave ourselves), I hope that we may be able to provide you with the best guides to being you, a gamer.

SL :

Through late nights alone with your controller, and those times where you can't speak in anything but cheesy game lines, we're here to guide you.

CP :

"All your bases are belonging to us." So sit back as we guide you on how to read our guides... assuming that you CAN read. In that case, "Hablamos español!"

SL :

Because living in the gaming world can sometimes feel like living in a jungle, we're going to help you along with certain common issues such as: "Buying a bad game without looking like an idiot.", and "How to look cool while playing Dance Dance Revolution."

CP :

Err, anyway, you'll see this type of "Instant Messaging" format frequently, if not all the time, as it gives us the utmost flexibility to be able to crack the worst jokes and at the same time let you know which of us is the one that "thought up that really cool idea" or "joke". Yes, 99% of the time it will be me, but Sarah insisted that we do it this way. Pffft!

SL :    Chad just wishes he could crack a joke.... Anyways, yeah. Hopefully this will end up being one of those columns that when you read, all you think about is "Wow, I wonder what they'll argue about next week."

CP :

Hopefully not, as I'm sure I will decimate you in any event! But let's not focus on that, AT THE MOMENT. We all know gamers have those pressing needs, like a guide to life is absolutely n necessary. We're here to provide that. How do we maintain a guide each issue? Topics. Topics lead to content. Content leads to ratings. Talking like Yoda leads to no ratings.

SL :

Yeah, even though talking like Yoda might be fun, it's no fun to the people reading it. Every week, we'll come up with some crazy topic and make you all feel directed towards a better gaming lifestyle.

CP :

In closing, folks, gamers, whatever the hell you are: We are here to make your life BETTER, and guide you through the obscurities and complexities of being a mal-adjusted social misfit with bad hygiene. So say it loud and proud: "I AM A GAMER!"

SL :

So thanks to everyone who read, and I hope to see you again for our new topic "The Art Of 1337".

This is Chad and Sarah out, see you next week!